Today is one of the days when despite all the reasons to be happy, I feel the opposite.
I fear that this all might turn out to be surreal, perhaps I was insecure about it for so long that I can't accept that someone I care about dearly and is ready to try and make it work.
Perhaps I wanted this so badly that now I fear I obliged you to be nice to me, and you are just finding a way to convince me this is not what we want, and that I end it all.
By now I have already learned that you are not someone who shows affection by words, but action, and I admire that. I have always admired people who were able to keep things to themselves, but still managed to be affectionate and wordy when it is needed. Still, as I have told so many times before, I am the exact opposite and despite of everything I know, I need words, I need you to answer my questions, to make it clear on what I can expect and what not.
Please stay as sweet and as thoughtful as you are so far.... I enjoy everyday talks with you. I like to believe that we can build this castle into a higher, tougher, pretty castle.
I hope we can build this story into something wonderful. I want to share the tropical days, nights, moons, stars, sunshines, thunders...the good and the bad days.
Not a day goes by without me trying to remember what I have written to you...It is strange how little I can remember, despite the countless times I read it and cried over it...And still, not a day goes by without me thinking how wonderful this ending/new beginning has been.
Please carry on being so sweet to me, I promise to do my best for you. xx
